We were visiting one of Diane’s uncles in a nursing home in rural Minnesota. His dementia was advanced and he was unresponsive the first few minutes we sat with him.

Then into the common area came a uniformed employee casting a powerful beam of sunshine. As she walked around the unit greeting individual patients, their faces brightened. Chattering voices could be heard above the blaring TV sound.

She walked over to Diane’s uncle carrying his favorite toy and showed us how to engage him with it. He came alive and played with the toy with obvious delight.

I’ll bet this lady was only making slightly more than the Subway employee down the road. And I’ll bet that she got a lot more joy out of her job.

For the unpaid family caregiver, joy is possible. I know it is. But to experience that joy I had to do the hardest part of caregiving, which was to show up and be fully present for my loved one.