Instinct is overrated

“For a human being, nothing comes naturally,” declares a shaman in His Dark Materials. “We have to learn everything we do.”

We grow up understanding that women are naturals at giving care. It’s their “instinct.” There’s no doubt we do some things instinctively, but mostly we learn by trial and lots of error.

When I was 25 I moved into a large household with folks who were just grateful I made dinner for them. I made a huge mess, experienced some smells I wasn’t used to, and eventually got it done. People love my cooking now. Am I an “instinctive” cook?

I had an aide who laughed as she cleaned up Diane after an accident. I asked her to show me everything. My first few times doing it reminded me of how I learned to cook. But I got it done and soon got better at it.

You’ll be surprised what you can do when you show up and roll with the changes.